Here are some random thoughts to get you through the day. Enjoy!
– If your child isn’t potty trained, don’t take him to White Castle. Ever.
– Whoever said a bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work obviously was never a lifeguard.
– Hugging a tree is good. Hugging a tree with poison ivy is bad. Very bad.
– Your child won’t remember that you told her to pick up her clothes, but she will remember that you said Aunt Hazel needs to drop fifty pounds.
– If you must kiss the cute squirming little puppy in your lap, expect some tongue.
– Whoever said it’s not the destination, it’s the journey never owned a Pinto. Or a Gremlin. Or a Yugo, for that matter.
– Good friends are hard to find, but great dogs are everywhere.
– Never look at your bottom in the mirror after sitting on the toilet for more than ten minutes. Trust me on this one.
– The sound of a child vomiting is strong enough to propel a full-grown man to the nearest bowling alley.
– If a man can rebuild a truck engine from scratch, why can’t he curl a seven-year-old girl’s hair with a curling iron?
– If, after 25 hours of labor, a woman can force a screaming, heaving eight pound bundle of joy into the world, why can’t she change a tire?
– When things get stale, why do hard things get soft and soft things get hard? If hard things got harder and soft things got softer, wouldn’t we all be a lot better off?
Hope you like!